Calming Down at Sea

Day One--Tuesday, May 3

• After awaking at 10 a.m. today, after 12 hours of sleep, I realized how tired I am. I can’t remember the last time I had 12 hours of sleep.

• My first thought when I awoke: oh my God, I got up late...I have to do something. I’m wasting my day...I have to do something. But then I realized there is nothing to do....just to be.

• I started worrying when I realized that I don’t have my Celtic Prayer Book that I was going to use for my meditations throughout the trip each day. So, I started thinking of ways to get the book shipped to Rome, how to order the book....But what would it be like for me to pray and meditate without any sort of aid or device? What’s it like just to be? Just to be again...

• When poet Donald Hall met with sculptor Henry Moore, he dared to ask if Moore believed that there was a secret to life. The response astonishes: “The secret of life, “Moore answered without flinching, “is to have a task, something you devote your entire life to, something you bring everything to, every minute of the day for your whole life. And the most important thing is - it must be something you cannot possibly do.”

• St Francis longed to do something significant with his life, and when he found it he also discovered a gift for others for all these centuries. The chance to be a light for others.

• While enjoying my first full sabbath day I was getting a massage and while laying face down I kept on thinking of tasks that I still needed to do back at St. Aidan’s and then I began to try to think of quick ways of fixing what needed to be done. I caught myself and thought “let it go, let it work itself out”. There was a sense of freedom in thinking that BUT it still pops up throughout the day but hey it’s only day one!

• Helpful thought from the Brihaduranyaha Upanishad, “You are what your deep driving desire is.”

• Joseph Campbell in The Mythic Image writes of, “the idea of a sacred place where the walls and laws of the temporal world may dissolve to reveal a wonder apparently as old as the human race.

Day Two--Wednesday, May 4

I thought about asking the staff of the cruise ship if they wanted me to preside at a mass on Sunday for the guests and crew. I was thinking maybe they could give me a discount in the spa, free excursions, or complimentary wine - Once again I had to say “NO!” relax and do not think about my role as presider/priest when just starting sabbatical.

I reflected on how I put together the itinerary for this trip - It came together in a year’s time and I wondered, “Is this just random?” Was it like playing the Surrealist’s game called Le Voyage Magique, in which players choose a journey to places picked at random? I committed to a dream of a pilgrimage where I believe that God’s hand inspired me in coming up with an itinerary - invisible hands appeared to guide me. Joseph Campbell said, “when you follow your bliss, doors will open where there were no doors before.” By bliss he meant the deepest fascination of one’s life. I am following that impulse from Assisi to Fatima to Iona to Oxford, and all manner of favors will come my way!

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.

Boldness has genius, power and magic in it

- Goethe