Explaining God on the Feast of the Trinity

Robert Capon says that when human beings try to describe God we are like a bunch of oysters trying to describe a ballerina. We simply do not have the equipment to understand something so utterly beyond us, but that has never stopped us from trying. 

So, I tried an experiment as I prepared for my sermon on the Feast of the Holy Trinity - I asked my friends on Facebook if they could share with me some ways they have experienced God this past week.  Perhaps the most faithful sermon on the Trinity is one that sniffs around the edges of the mystery, hunting for something closer to an experience than an understanding. I find these responses to be very powerful:

Jane: Viewing a sunset from the outer banks of NC with all my kids and grands

Michael: Finding someone's cash back at a self check out lane and turning it in to customer service.

Michael: Seeing an old man's face light up when I accepted the flowers he offered me.

Charlie: I have several friends who are going through such hard times lately. The way they keep going in the face of adversity inspires me. To me, that is God in action.

Jory: When I look back at my life's path and see how things really did work out for the better despite the twits and turns.

Charlie: A really trying event about six years ago really shook me up and affected me for a long time. I'm finally starting to realize that it might very well have been one of the best things that ever happened to me.

Becky: Learning that the great grand baby of some dear friends is cancer-free!! She was diagnosed with leukemia at age 2 months, has been at Johns Hopkins since then, and her bone marrow test from this week shows no evidence of disease! She is home now, thanks be to God!

Lynne: Seeing both of my sons alive and well after both of them went through life threatening events within the last year.

Mary Beth:  Knowing that God is always with me as I am now in chronic pain; and able to seeGod in others along my way in this journey. Experiencing the generous love in others, and the Grace to keep getting up each morning. Simple graces, more simple as I am blessed to age and see them that way. 

Jason: Singing hymns for two plus hours, was a vocalization of the Spirit, the mountains were definitely the work of God, and the offering being over 1000 bucks for that church that burned down, that none of us had ever been to was the body of Christ at work.

Felipe: We are in Armstrong Woods...just like being in a natural cathedral framed in ancient redwoods. They are so inspiring!

Lee: Working with a team of committed people as we prepare a CREDO conference for the clergy of the Episcopal Diocese of Haiti. It was inspiring to see how it all came together.

Fletcher: In the joyful faces of the young bride and groom who were just married here an hour ago; in the majestic sounds of pipe organ and bagpipes; in the humid warmth of a springtime afternoon in the South...

Darin: In simple encouraging loving words from friends.

Kristin: Laughter

Kathie: God has been guiding my husband and I through some difficult times lately and always provides for us. His grace and mercy surround us. Opening ourselves up to the beauty of His grace has made us more understanding and forgiving of each other and of other people.

Sue: occasional, soft, gentle rain up in the Trinity Alps

Marcelo: Knowing God always love you and even though you don't understand why something happens now, it will all make perfect sense in the future.

Amy: On a pastoral visit, I was the one ministered to, in a very gentle and intentional way by my parishioner.

Butch: I will be leaving the middle east soon. 

Joe:  The promise of everlasting beauty and abundance. Even this morning, when I went to tend my garden, I marveled at the return of the hops plants in their very infancy ... I had thought the plant had died and not made it through winter. Surprise, Spring comes along and the leaves poked out of the dirt. How can I not see God in that? The return of plants, flowers, the changing of the seasons, the promise of perpetuity ...

Sarah: I wrote asking the owner of the Grand Hotel if I could get a discount on a room for 4th of July with my mom and nieces. He wrote back saying he wants us to be his.guests for the whole weekend something I could never afford!

Elizabeth: I'm experiencing God right now, as I re-enter my church life by attending a wedding a week after a breakup knowing that there are people holding me in prayer.

My Long Road to Damascus

Big change-a-roo for my sermon this morning- I am sharing a letter I had written to Bishop Clarence Pope, my former Rector when I was a teenager: 

“Dear Bishop Pope, We miss you so much as being our Rector but we are glad you are now a bishop (Ft Worth) in the Church. I want to share some of my concerns. Nowadays, I am almost frightened to enter into another Episcopal Church because hardly any of them are like St Luke’s Church. Many have folk masses, hardly any of the members reverence the Blessed Sacrament, too many clergy don’t wear clergy collars, and the church is just too liberal, especially ordaining women and gays. Will the church ever go back to what it was? I am criticized by many adults and people my age about my conservative beliefs.....” 

Hearing a Growl During Morning Prayer

On Wednesday, while I was officiating Morning Prayer, I heard a growl during the long silence after a reading from the Book of Acts. I had no idea where the noise was coming from. I then looked to my right and saw the small head of a Teacup Chihuahua come out of the sweater of a member of the church. Bella was not a happy dog! Laughter erupted and the joy of God's creation was felt by all.

Beamer and the Start of Lent

I begin a new journey in writing on the day we celebrate the first day of Lent. It is a day of great sadness for me since my beloved animal companion Beamer seems like he is getting closer to his death. Many emotions stir inside of me since I love him so deeply. For the past thirteen years I have taken great care of him and he has taken great care of me, especially during important times in my life: When my mother and father were so sick and during and after their deaths, through Hurricane Katrina, through three important love relationships,  and through four moves - the biggest being a move to sunny California for a wonderful calling to St Aidan’s where he has been able to come to work with me everyday. 

My heart is sad but I give God thanks for allowing him to be a part of my life. The ashes I receive today on Ash Wednesday remind me that all physical life comes to an end but our love and our Spirit’s energy continues long after we are all dust. I pray for strength when the time comes for him to pass. I will always have Beamer and his brother Frankie in my heart and dreams. 

“All of us go down to the dust; yet even at the grave we make our song: Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia.” 

May this Lent and this journey be one of enlightenment, love and peace.

From a Death Comes New life: After all, Resurrection is Truly what we’re all about

What do you do when a once-vibrant ministry that defined a parish's commitment to social ministry outlives the needs of the surrounding community and the resources of the parish to sustain it? That was the challenge facing Saint Aidan's, San Francisco, when Aidan's Way, our flagship ministry, had to face the reality that we as a community could no longer maintain this beloved program in the parish.

For more than a decade, Aidan’s Way offered an after-school program for at-risk children, welcoming all faiths, races, and ethnicities. The goal of the program was to provide educational services in a loving atmosphere to neighborhood children for almost no cost to the families.

As the years progressed, many of those who were most passionate in our congregation about this ministry were lost through death and grave illness. Those who were left, along with the paid director, were trying to make something survive that couldn't. We could no longer support the program financially, the volunteer pool shrunk to levels where we sometimes did not have a healthy adult-child ratio, and we discovered that we were no longer serving mainly neighborhood children. Instead, our ministry had become an inexpensive after-school alternative for families who could easily pay more than the $25 cost per semester. As California regulations of childcare increased, we realized we could not afford neither the required renovations to our space to meet state standards nor the state’s expectations of two full-time staff members and two years of advanced operating expenses in the bank.

During a meeting with the comptroller of the diocese, the Aidan’s Way Advisory Board and members of the St. Aidan’s Vestry, I felt with a heavy heart the responsibility of having to name the elephant in the middle of the room: that it was time for us to end our Aidan’s Way ministry. In that moment, we all experienced a profound death. Some members of our congregation were very angry. Others were in denial. Still others looked to blame me or the Diocese or the Vestry. These are all normal parts of the grieving process.

But Resurrection existed for us, too. After we reached the decision to close that day, our group moved from a meeting room into our church. We joined hands and offered God thanks for this important ministry in the life of our church and the neighborhood. We gave thanks for all the children and their families who benefitted from the program. We asked God’s Spirit to be with us to offer us inspiration as we looked for new ways to minister with children in our neighborhood. And from this liturgy we knew we could still provide a safe, loving place for children in new and exciting ways.

“When we realized we had to make other plans for these children, I was devastated,” said Pam Wong, a longtime member of our parish and volunteer at Aidan’s Way. “Initially, there was a great emptiness and I cried often and hard. Time has helped soften my loss and now I can remember more fondly the gift I received from all of our children and their families. I can still do things with them. For example, right after the closure of Aidan’s Way, I led a group of twelve children from the neighborhood in the most amazing dance for Pentecost, which was a moving and joyous time.”

After more than 6 years of volunteering, Judy Bley, a member of the parish who volunteered weekly for the program, found it hard to adjust, and she felt deeply for the parents and children who had relied on our program to provide a safe and enriching environment. “I see children as our future and received deep personal satisfaction in being a part of helping children to grow, achieve success in school work, and form lasting bonds. However, the reality was that our children came from far and wide and were not, for the most part, members of our surrounding community. It was not possible for us to maintain all of our financially draining programs.”

As our neighborhood changed, we realized that what we were ultimately experiencing was the Holy Spirit inviting us to adapt and change, as well. The Rev. Diana Wheeler, our parish deacon and Director of Aidan’s Way, reached out to Si, Se Puede, a program similar to Aidan’s Way in our neighborhood, and she facilitated a joint venture between St. Aidan’s, AmeriCorps, and the United Farm Workers, housed at the Vista del Monte Apartments just across the street from St. Aidan’s.

We now have volunteers there on a weekly basis, our resident story-teller visits regularly, and our congregation has made a commitment to helping the children with their plot in the local community garden. All of this involves no capital expense of our parish, but it does commit our talent and time in new and liberating ways. If “in the midst of life, we are in death,” we have found that the converse is also true. “This new adventure with our neighbors across the street helps us to never forget those people and things we will always love, but instead invites us to find meaning in them in new and powerful ways,” said the Rev. David Stickley, our current parish deacon. “In many ways, we have experienced dying to self and living to Christ by being as fully alive as we possibly can to the community around us without the heavy encumbrance of program expense.”

Since the closure of Aidan’s Way, we have also offered two summer camps for children. We offered a week of Spiritual Arts and Practical Arts, with a focus on non-violence for children in elementary school. As well, we helped to coordinate the Friends of God Summer Camp with two other parishes, where campers spent one week at St. Aidan’s, one week at St. Gregory of Nyssa, and one week at Grace Cathedral focusing on different Godly Play stories. We welcomed volunteers and campers from seven local Episcopal Churches, along with children and staffers from Roman Catholic, Jewish, Unitarian, and non-religious backgrounds. The camp was very successful and is currently being planned for 2012, with another week planned at St. Aidan’s.

Letting go of things dear to us is always difficult, and this proved to be no exception. The Book of Common Prayer reminds us that “In the midst of life, we are in death.” While this may not exactly cheer us on our way, it does serve as a wonderfully poignant reminder that life is a process that must include letting go from time to time if we are to be born again from above, and filled with the life-giving love of the Spirit. This is not to say that the grieving process must end; if it did, it might mean that the love we let go of is also gone, and as a people of faith, we believe that love never dies.

But, the people of St. Aidan’s will tell you: from a death comes new life. After all, Resurrection is truly what we’re all about.

The Rev. Tommy Dillon

Rector, St Aidan’s Episcopal Church

San Francisco

World AIDS Day 2011 at St Aidan's

The World AIDS Day theme for 2011-2015 is drawn from the new UNAIDS Strategy “Getting to Zero,” which focuses on zero new infections, zero discrimination and zero aids-related deaths. The liturgy used at St Aidan's on December 1, 2011 focused on the concept of “Zero Discrimination.”

The on-going discrimination and stigmatisation of people living with HIV is a major issue. People are still afraid to talk openly about their status in our congregations, communities

and society. Despite the fact that we have clear legislation on non-discrimination, people living with HIV, counsellors, social workers, and AIDS-service organizations, tell numerous incidents of neglect and stigmatisation of people living with HIV.

The liturgy sought to encourage each and every one of us to understand and promote Zero Discrimination in our specific contexts and church communities. Many have talked about discrimination, written about it, protested about it. Rather than just provide more words, we hope that the liturgy, using images and drama, modeled acceptance and inclusion.

The center of the worship space was the AIDS Names Panel Quilt created by the parish of St Aidan's honoring the men who died from the congregation in the 80's and 90's.

Everyone, Everywhere 2011

This week I am spending two days outside of Denver, Colorado participating in the Everyone, Everywhere 2011 (EE11) Conference with over 300 members of the Episcopal Church, including our Presiding Bishop Katherine Jefferts Schori. This gathering hopes to fan the flames of passion for mission throughout the church that was started three years ago at the first gathering in Maryland.

The focus of Everyone, Everywhere 2011 is: Relationship in the context of mission. As Episcopalians, we are called to ‘seek and serve Christ in all persons’ and to ‘respect the dignity of every human being.’ It is this foundation of our faith that guides our efforts to nourish and deepen our relationships/partnerships in God’s unending mission. We all have our own unique identity and this gathering will engage all of God’s children from different parts of God’s world, recognizing and respecting the diversity of identity present in our Church and in the world. In addition, we recognize that, as followers of Christ, we desire to share God’s love and bring about shalom within God's world, which asks us to create more just, equitable and sustainable societies. The recognition of this desire and our multi-faceted yet common identity as people of God enables more faithful and authentic conversations around relationships and the reconciliation, partnering, and financial stewardship that can be part of them.

Our world is constantly changing and becoming smaller as in-person and on-line interaction becomes easier and more common and provides us with a myriad of opportunities that enable us to share mutual ministries, compare cultures, and experience how God is working in throughout the Body of Christ. How do we as Episcopalians deepen our diverse relationships with our neighbors – those halfway around the world and those just around the corner – to better understand our collective mission as children of God and discover our individual place in God’s wider mission?

In an effort to welcome everyone, especially those who work at the grassroots level and who many not be connected to any of the existing mission networks, EE11 will offer the opportunity to celebrate the depth and breadth of global and local relationships and ministries. It is hoped that by bringing everyone together we will see how our ministries complement each other and we will begin to shift away from the dichotomous thinking around domestic and global mission.

I look forward to reporting back on the tools I learn at this historic event in the life of the Church and how we can incorporate them in the life of our parish and community.